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December 9, 2009

One upping the neighbors with Christmas decor

Make sure to read story below...



 


Fantastic!!  Greg sends along this DIY - FYI:

"Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take my fake man down after 2 days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories. But two things made me take it down. 

First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by. 

Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn't realize it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was only one of many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn't take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard."

 

 

 


 


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December 2, 2009

Happy Holidays from The Woods Family

Just received from friends in Kansas...

This must be a creation from the Redneck Photoshop Version they've been talking about.


Subject: Happy Holidays from the Tiger Woods Family


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November 25, 2009

Three Mischievous Grandmas


Three mischievous Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home when an old Grandpa walked by. 
  
One of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, 'We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.' 

The old man said, 'There is no way you can guess it, you old fools.


One of the old  Grandmas said, 'Sure we can! Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.' 

Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped his drawers. 

The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times. Then they all piped up and said, 'You're 87 years old!' 
 
Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, 'How in the world did you guess?' 

Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison - - 
  
'We were at your birthday party yesterday!'

Filed under  //   Comedy - Jokes Section   humor   humour   old age dementia  

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November 25, 2009

Dementia - short and sweet...

 
  

Filed under  //   aging   Comedy - Jokes Section   old age dementia   old married folk  

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November 25, 2009

If Indians had given Pilgrims a donkey... Happy Thanksgiving

Another email forward funny from NY'er via CA


Just think..........
If the Indians had given the Pilgrims a donkey instead of a turkey, we would all be having  a piece of ass this Thanksgiving!!..
..

 

 

Filed under  //   Comedy - Jokes Section   funny   humor   humour   Thanksgiving  

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November 23, 2009

The O'Malley Twins

Thanks to @sandnsurf


A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. Why of course, comes the reply.

The first man then asks: Where are you from?

I'm from Ireland, replies the second man.

The first man responds: You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland.

Of Course, replies the second man.


Curious, the first man then asks:"Where in Ireland are you from?

Dublin, comes the reply.

I can't believe it, says the first man."I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin.

Of course, replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: What school did you go to?

Saint Mary's, replies the second man. I graduated in 62.

This is unbelievable! the first man says. I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. What's been going on? he asks the bartender.

Nothing much, replies the bartender. The O'Malley twins are drunk again.

Filed under  //   Comedy - Jokes Section   funny   humor   humour   ireland   irish   pub  

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November 22, 2009

Evolution of Man and Woman

Oh come on now... at least he offered her a banana.

http://bit.ly/7JcHH9

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November 20, 2009

911: help my parents jacked my xbox

Only in America kids...  Thanks @sandnsurf

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/northnorthwest/chi-buffalogrove-blotter-nzone-1nov18,0,7218475.story

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November 18, 2009

Going Rouge?

Bullwinkle's #1 Enemy, Sarah Palin, named her book Going Rogue: An American Life.  Perhaps she mistook rouge for rogue.  Only in America kids...


Is it ummmm...


Rogue

or

Rouge

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November 2, 2009

Verizon Chat Agent and wannabe customer...

From New York with love ....

"From a friend---you couldn't make this stuff up if you tried...LOL"
"you're gonna love the stupidity in this one."

We are routing you to a chat representative. Thank you for contacting Verizon. Your average wait time is 54 seconds.

You are now chatting with 'Tedd'

you: is fios available in my building xxxxx  xxxxx St, washington DC 20005

Tedd: Hello.  Thank you for visiting our Verizon chat service. How can I help you set up your new service and save with a Verizon bundle?

Tedd: After you check the availability and if service is available, you will be presented with the packages, prices and speeds that your telephone number is eligible for.

you: see my question above

Tedd: Have you checked the availability for Verizon  Services at your location?

you: it does not mention fios, can't you answer the question?

Tedd: I do not have the access to check the availability as I am just a chat agent.

you: then you can't help me. what is the point of a chat agent that says 'how can i help you'?

Tedd: I understand your concern, however my role is to help the customers with setting up new services and helping them with questions related to new services. . I suggest that you call your Local Verizon Business Office to get a temporary PIN number, which is required for you to make your online account.

you: why would i want an online acct to check for service availability? It is a simple question relating to new services?

Tedd: I meant to say That I am here to guide you through the order process and provide you with links and numbers  I do not have access to the account.

you: i don't have an account, this is a service availability question


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