invinoveritas’s posterous

 

Pregnancy- Italian Style

     An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom, that she thinks she's pregnant. Very worried, the Mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl IS pregnant.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the Mother says, 'Who wassa dah piga thata do thisah to you? Ima wanna know!' 

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of a Ferrari and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the Father, Mother, and the girl and tells them: 'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.

I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.

Additionally, if a girl is born, will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a factory and a $3,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory each and $4,000,000 each.

However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'

At this point, the Father, who had remained silent holding a shot gun, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him:

'You gonna try again"

Comments [0]

Three Mischievous Grandmas


Three mischievous Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home when an old Grandpa walked by. 
  
One of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, 'We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.' 

The old man said, 'There is no way you can guess it, you old fools.


One of the old  Grandmas said, 'Sure we can! Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.' 

Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped his drawers. 

The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times. Then they all piped up and said, 'You're 87 years old!' 
 
Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, 'How in the world did you guess?' 

Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison - - 
  
'We were at your birthday party yesterday!'

Filed under  //   Comedy - Jokes Section   humor   humour   old age dementia  

Comments [0]

Dementia - short and sweet...

 
  

Filed under  //   aging   Comedy - Jokes Section   old age dementia   old married folk  

Comments [0]

If Indians had given Pilgrims a donkey... Happy Thanksgiving

Another email forward funny from NY'er via CA


Just think..........
If the Indians had given the Pilgrims a donkey instead of a turkey, we would all be having  a piece of ass this Thanksgiving!!..
..

 

 

Filed under  //   Comedy - Jokes Section   funny   humor   humour   Thanksgiving  

Comments [0]

The O'Malley Twins

Thanks to @sandnsurf


A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. Why of course, comes the reply.

The first man then asks: Where are you from?

I'm from Ireland, replies the second man.

The first man responds: You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland.

Of Course, replies the second man.


Curious, the first man then asks:"Where in Ireland are you from?

Dublin, comes the reply.

I can't believe it, says the first man."I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin.

Of course, replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: What school did you go to?

Saint Mary's, replies the second man. I graduated in 62.

This is unbelievable! the first man says. I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. What's been going on? he asks the bartender.

Nothing much, replies the bartender. The O'Malley twins are drunk again.

Filed under  //   Comedy - Jokes Section   funny   humor   humour   ireland   irish   pub  

Comments [0]

Evolution of Man and Woman

Oh come on now... at least he offered her a banana.

http://bit.ly/7JcHH9

Comments [0]

911: help my parents jacked my xbox

Comments [0]

Going Rouge?

Bullwinkle's #1 Enemy, Sarah Palin, named her book Going Rogue: An American Life.  Perhaps she mistook rouge for rogue.  Only in America kids...


Is it ummmm...


Rogue

or

Rouge

Comments [0]

Some photos from Icons of the Desert Exhibit in NYC

Have another short video and thoughts to add when get a moment to write in detail. 

It's a spectacular exhibit which runs until December 5th at New York University's Grey Art Gallery.

Take the time to sit and view all the videos displayed. If miss first part stay to start beginning. My first visit took me three hours (not enough time) to absorb the magnitude of such art. I returned again on different days to focus more on particular paintings. It's not art that you take a quick stroll and walk away. It's not Renaissance Art which leaves the uncultured with Stendhal fever. Go with your spirit. Don't bother listening too much to the students and educators say. They only know what is told to them by the powers that be. All that shows from Australia on media and what is sent to the world via Australia is a polished up look. It's sad but a common theme in many Indigenous cultures to sell their beautiful contributions and then leave them to rot. Saddens me to see all this early art work privately owned by a New York couple only to "lent" out on exhibit. It's as if they were doing a favour! These works should be returned and sent back to Australia for Ancestors and future generations to permanently guard and display as they wish.

http://www.iconsofthedesert.com/

     
Click here to download:
Some_photos_from_Icons_of_the_.zip (7352 KB)

Filed under  //   Aboriginal   Art   Australia   Australian   Culture   Desert   Indigenous   Papunya Tula  

Comments [0]

Pharmacology joke

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. Examples, the trade name of Tylenol has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil, is also called Amoxicillin, and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.
Considered names: Mycoxafloppin, Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.  as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, & it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day:  There's more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there will be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

If you don't send this to five, old friends right away, there will be five fewer people laughing in the world!

Comments [0]