invinoveritas's posterous http://invinoveritas.posterous.com Most recent posts at invinoveritas's posterous posterous.com Fri, 27 Nov 2009 12:19:00 -0800 Pregnancy- Italian Style http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/pregnancy-italian-style http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/pregnancy-italian-style

     An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom, that she thinks she's pregnant. Very worried, the Mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl IS pregnant.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the Mother says, 'Who wassa dah piga thata do thisah to you? Ima wanna know!' 

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of a Ferrari and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the Father, Mother, and the girl and tells them: 'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.

I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.

Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a factory and a $3,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory each and $4,000,000 each.

However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'

At this point, the Father, who had remained silent holding a shot gun, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him:

'You gonna try again"

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/317879/ny_237.JPG http://posterous.com/people/KB3C04ZoMV Francesca invinoveritas Francesca Wed, 25 Nov 2009 19:17:57 -0800 Three Mischievous Grandmas http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/three-mischievous-grandmas http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/three-mischievous-grandmas

Three mischievous Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home when an old Grandpa walked by. 
  
One of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, 'We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.' 

The old man said, 'There is no way you can guess it, you old fools.


One of the old  Grandmas said, 'Sure we can! Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.' 

Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped his drawers. 

The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times. Then they all piped up and said, 'You're 87 years old!' 
 
Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, 'How in the world did you guess?' 

Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison - - 
  
'We were at your birthday party yesterday!'

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/317879/ny_237.JPG http://posterous.com/people/KB3C04ZoMV Francesca invinoveritas Francesca Wed, 25 Nov 2009 16:52:00 -0800 Dementia - short and sweet... http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/dementia-short-and-sweet http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/dementia-short-and-sweet
 
  

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/317879/ny_237.JPG http://posterous.com/people/KB3C04ZoMV Francesca invinoveritas Francesca Wed, 25 Nov 2009 13:32:00 -0800 If Indians had given Pilgrims a donkey... Happy Thanksgiving http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/if-indians-had-given-pilgrims-a-donkey-happy http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/if-indians-had-given-pilgrims-a-donkey-happy
Another email forward funny from NY'er via CA


Just think..........
If the Indians had given the Pilgrims a donkey instead of a turkey, we would all be having  a piece of ass this Thanksgiving!!.. ..

 

 

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/317879/ny_237.JPG http://posterous.com/people/KB3C04ZoMV Francesca invinoveritas Francesca Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:28:37 -0800 The O'Malley Twins http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/the-omalley-twins http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/the-omalley-twins
Thanks to @sandnsurf


A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. Why of course, comes the reply.

The first man then asks: Where are you from?

I'm from Ireland, replies the second man.

The first man responds: You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland.

Of Course, replies the second man.


Curious, the first man then asks:"Where in Ireland are you from?

Dublin, comes the reply.

I can't believe it, says the first man."I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin.

Of course, replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: What school did you go to?

Saint Mary's, replies the second man. I graduated in 62.

This is unbelievable! the first man says. I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. What's been going on? he asks the bartender.

Nothing much, replies the bartender. The O'Malley twins are drunk again.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/317879/ny_237.JPG http://posterous.com/people/KB3C04ZoMV Francesca invinoveritas Francesca Sun, 22 Nov 2009 23:15:00 -0800 Evolution of Man and Woman http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/evolution-of-man-and-woman-0 http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/evolution-of-man-and-woman-0

Oh come on now... at least he offered her a banana.

http://bit.ly/7JcHH9

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/317879/ny_237.JPG http://posterous.com/people/KB3C04ZoMV Francesca invinoveritas Francesca Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:11:58 -0800 911: help my parents jacked my xbox http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/911-help-my-parents-jacked-my-xbox http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/911-help-my-parents-jacked-my-xbox Only in America kids...  Thanks @sandnsurf

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/northnorthwest/chi-buffalogrove-blotter-nzone-1nov18,0,7218475.story

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/317879/ny_237.JPG http://posterous.com/people/KB3C04ZoMV Francesca invinoveritas Francesca Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:15:24 -0800 Going Rouge? http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/going-rouge-3 http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/going-rouge-3 Bullwinkle's #1 Enemy, Sarah Palin, named her book Going Rogue: An American Life.  Perhaps she mistook rouge for rogue.  Only in America kids...


Is it ummmm...


Rogue

or

Rouge

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/317879/ny_237.JPG http://posterous.com/people/KB3C04ZoMV Francesca invinoveritas Francesca Tue, 17 Nov 2009 15:07:00 -0800 Some photos from Icons of the Desert Exhibit in NYC http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/some-photos-from-icons-of-the-desert-exhibit http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/some-photos-from-icons-of-the-desert-exhibit

Have another short video and thoughts to add when get a moment to write in detail. 

It's a spectacular exhibit which runs until December 5th at New York University's Grey Art Gallery.

Take the time to sit and view all the videos displayed. If miss first part stay to start beginning. My first visit took me three hours (not enough time) to absorb the magnitude of such art. I returned again on different days to focus more on particular paintings. It's not art that you take a quick stroll and walk away. It's not Renaissance Art which leaves the uncultured with Stendhal fever. Go with your spirit. Don't bother listening too much to the students and educators say. They only know what is told to them by the powers that be. All that shows from Australia on media and what is sent to the world via Australia is a polished up look. It's sad but a common theme in many Indigenous cultures to sell their beautiful contributions and then leave them to rot. Saddens me to see all this early art work privately owned by a New York couple only to "lent" out on exhibit. It's as if they were doing a favour! These works should be returned and sent back to Australia for Ancestors and future generations to permanently guard and display as they wish.

http://www.iconsofthedesert.com/

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/317879/ny_237.JPG http://posterous.com/people/KB3C04ZoMV Francesca invinoveritas Francesca Wed, 04 Nov 2009 11:02:21 -0800 Pharmacology joke http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/pharmacology-joke http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/pharmacology-joke In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. Examples, the trade name of Tylenol has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil, is also called Amoxicillin, and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. Considered names: Mycoxafloppin, Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.  as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, & it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day:  There's more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there will be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

If you don't send this to five, old friends right away, there will be five fewer people laughing in the world!

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/317879/ny_237.JPG http://posterous.com/people/KB3C04ZoMV Francesca invinoveritas Francesca Mon, 02 Nov 2009 16:44:20 -0800 Verizon Chat Agent and wannabe customer... http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/verizon-chat-agent-and-wannabe-customer http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/verizon-chat-agent-and-wannabe-customer From New York with love ....
"From a friend---you couldn't make this stuff up if you tried...LOL"
"you're gonna love the stupidity in this one."

We are routing you to a chat representative. Thank you for contacting Verizon. Your average wait time is 54 seconds.

You are now chatting with 'Tedd'

you: is fios available in my building xxxxx  xxxxx St, washington DC 20005

Tedd: Hello.  Thank you for visiting our Verizon chat service. How can I help you set up your new service and save with a Verizon bundle?

Tedd: After you check the availability and if service is available, you will be presented with the packages, prices and speeds that your telephone number is eligible for.

you: see my question above

Tedd: Have you checked the availability for Verizon  Services at your location?

you: it does not mention fios, can't you answer the question?

Tedd: I do not have the access to check the availability as I am just a chat agent.

you: then you can't help me. what is the point of a chat agent that says 'how can i help you'?

Tedd: I understand your concern, however my role is to help the customers with setting up new services and helping them with questions related to new services. . I suggest that you call your Local Verizon Business Office to get a temporary PIN number, which is required for you to make your online account.

you: why would i want an online acct to check for service availability? It is a simple question relating to new services?

Tedd: I meant to say That I am here to guide you through the order process and provide you with links and numbers  I do not have access to the account.

you: i don't have an account, this is a service availability question


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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/317879/ny_237.JPG http://posterous.com/people/KB3C04ZoMV Francesca invinoveritas Francesca Fri, 30 Oct 2009 12:01:00 -0700 The Importance of Strategic Planning http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/the-importance-of-strategic-planning http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/the-importance-of-strategic-planning



One night four college students were partying until late and did not study for a test which was scheduled for the next day.

In the morning, they thought of a plan.

They made themselves look as dirty as possible, with grease and dirt.

They then went to the teacher and said that they had gone to a wedding last night and on their return, a tire burst on their car and they had to push the car all the way back home and that they were in no condition to do the test.

The teacher kindly allowed them to do a re-test after 3 days.

They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time.

On the third day, they went for their test.

The teacher said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms.

They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days...
 

 


The test consisted of 1 single question, worth a total of 100 Marks........
 

 Q. 1. Which tire?

       a) Front Left           b) Front Right
       c) Back Left            d) Back Right

 

 


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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/317879/ny_237.JPG http://posterous.com/people/KB3C04ZoMV Francesca invinoveritas Francesca Fri, 30 Oct 2009 11:15:15 -0700 I bet he won't do that again http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/i-bet-he-wont-do-that-again http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/i-bet-he-wont-do-that-again
Download now or watch on posterous
I bet he won't do that again.wmv (2034 KB)

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/317879/ny_237.JPG http://posterous.com/people/KB3C04ZoMV Francesca invinoveritas Francesca Wed, 14 Oct 2009 20:35:32 -0700 Bohemian Whapsody à la Looney Tunes http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/bohemian-whapsody-a-la-looney-tunes http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/bohemian-whapsody-a-la-looney-tunes http://bit.ly/1fvqoi

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/317879/ny_237.JPG http://posterous.com/people/KB3C04ZoMV Francesca invinoveritas Francesca Fri, 25 Sep 2009 14:57:00 -0700 New York City 22nd High School Reunion, 40th Birthday and hoping I'll find my shoes after bar hopping with the Irish http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/new-york-city-23rd-high-school-reunion-40th-b http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/new-york-city-23rd-high-school-reunion-40th-b

Going to be busy as usual in New York City. Have many people to meet and places to go...all over the place.  Luckily transport is a snap and characters on board make for great entertainment. 

Here's a few things of what's on my short agenda:

Sunday visiting my best friend and her three gorgeous children in Lido Beach on Long Island. Takes me about 1 hour from Manhattan to get there. I love chillin' out on board Long Island Railroad watching those who act wacky in Manhattan suddenly become well behaved exit Jamaica, Queens station ;-P

22nd High School Reunion. Going to be at my high school in Manhattan a block away from my Mom's apartment.  After will go out bar hopping with my childhood classmate friend.  Last time we did that I ended up walking home without shoes in sub zero weather. Hate when that happens!

Meeting for first time with his wife a "Web 2.0" long time contact. Giving them a native New Yorker tour of less known hot spots with fran-tastic views. They have been to NYC many times but I'm going to surprise them with a few spots.

I can do my Manhattan tours in a flash. I've also hit the five boroughs in one day. It's not for the faint at heart or slow paced. Where I walk no grass grows. I kind of walk and talk fast.  When taking family and friends around NYC I usually offer them a side trip walks around West Harlem, South Bronx and other assorted rough around the edges hide-a-ways of Brooklyn and Queens. Until this day the only people in past 39 years to take me up on the offer were my cousins from Palermo, Sicily. They did though not want me to walk them around. They said seeing from taste of subway rides and platforms was enough! :-P

I always get asked about Ground Zero.  I take people there even though it makes me sad and do so with a heavy heart. Since Wall Street is usually on my tour I give them option to visit Ground Zero.

Art & Culture highlights:

New York University - Grey Art Gallery
icons of the desert: http://www.nyu.edu/greyart/

Metropolitan Museum of Art
Watteau, Music, and Theater
http://www.metmuseum.org/special/se_event.asp?OccurrenceId={BCE73368-B734-45EC-8263-6BD867EB4D4F}

MoMA
Freedom of the Press: Artist Publish on the American Presidency

http://www.moma.org/visit/calendar/exhibitions/1005


40th Birthday happens to be around this time. I never have too many set plans in NYC. It's not that kind of city ;-)

My hometown New York City, there is no other place like it. You must see and experience it, if only once in your lifetime.

I have another Posterous www.posterous.com/newyorkology  Will start posting all things New York when remember. Until then please feel free to enjoy In Vino Veritas...

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/317879/ny_237.JPG http://posterous.com/people/KB3C04ZoMV Francesca invinoveritas Francesca Fri, 25 Sep 2009 10:13:14 -0700 Computer Upgrades http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/computer-upgrades-0 http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/computer-upgrades-0

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/317879/ny_237.JPG http://posterous.com/people/KB3C04ZoMV Francesca invinoveritas Francesca Tue, 01 Sep 2009 16:05:00 -0700 Another American culture shock reality: My Yeast is gone... http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/another-american-culture-shock-reality-my-yea http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/another-american-culture-shock-reality-my-yea

 

 

I'm starting to have withdrawal symptoms...

 

 


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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/317879/ny_237.JPG http://posterous.com/people/KB3C04ZoMV Francesca invinoveritas Francesca Thu, 27 Aug 2009 23:23:00 -0700 Conscious dreaming signs and signals http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/conscious-dreaming-signs-and-signals http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/conscious-dreaming-signs-and-signals

Another email forward received from an old friend.  I love when I think of someone and they magically send a sign. I call this conscious dreaming....  I am always open to all signs and signals including those considered supernatural around me. It is for this that I never be considered an non-believer of spiritualism. My world would be dead without having freedom to call upon the spirits. I criticise not those who do not feel a supernatural belief system. I just feel sorry that they can look at nature and animals then deny that all is connected through a belief system which is sometimes called religion.

There comes a point in your life when you realize...

Who matters,
Who never did,
Who won't anymore...
And who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/317879/ny_237.JPG http://posterous.com/people/KB3C04ZoMV Francesca invinoveritas Francesca Thu, 27 Aug 2009 11:04:00 -0700 Senior Nursing Home Secret Garden of Eden http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/senior-nursing-home-secret-garden-of-eden http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/senior-nursing-home-secret-garden-of-eden

A funny email forward that started off my day. I've modified title for a jump start. See old age and dementia can be a good thing. I have directly witnessed some fun loving at a Senior Center by my good friend Mary who is 80 and her boyfriend John who is 93. John is a nice old Southern gentleman who is quite popular with the ladies. They both live in Virgina.

This joke reminded me of them. I snapped a photo of Mary grabbing John good on his apartment terrace. Mary is quite the Southern Belle and most politically incorrect woman I will ever have met. Mary learned to drive and get her license a few years ago and still parties like it's 1999.


**********************************************************************************************

Harold is 95 and lives in a Nursing Senior Citizen Home.

Every night after dinner, Harold  goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit, ponder his 
accomplishments and long life. One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to
chat and  before they know it, several  hours have passed.

 After a short lull in their conversation,
 Harold  turns to Mildred and asks, 'Do you know what I miss most of all?'

She asks, 'What?' 
'Sex!!' he replies

Mildred  exclaims, 'Why you old fart. You couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!'
'I know,' Harold says, 'but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while.'
'Well, I can oblige,' says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood 
and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden
where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.
Then one night Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. 
Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K.

  She walked around the Senior Citizen Home  where she found him sitting
 by the pool with Ethel, another female resident,who was holding Harold's manhood!

Furious, Mildred yelled, 'You two-timing son of
a bitch! What does Ethel have  that I don't  have?'
Old Harold smiled happily and replied,
 'Parkinson's.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/317879/ny_237.JPG http://posterous.com/people/KB3C04ZoMV Francesca invinoveritas Francesca Thu, 27 Aug 2009 01:08:00 -0700 Indigenous Australian Philatelic and New York University Grey Art Gallery "Icons in the Desert" Exhibit. http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/indigenous-australian-philatelic-and-new-york http://invinoveritas.posterous.com/indigenous-australian-philatelic-and-new-york
Here are a few pictures of Indigenous Australian Philatelic Art I brought back to US to add to my small stamp collection.

Unfortunately moment I decide to visit Alice Springs post office there were too many tourists on queue trying to mail out from didgeridoos, stubbies and kangaroo testicle talismans.

In attempt to keep my Philatelic quest short and sweet I took whatever clerk messed up. Apparently at this central post office they do not get many passer-bys asking for latest stamps. I asked for all of inter-Australia postage series in half sheet but she messed it up. I didn't say a word because I saw the woman was clueless and line was obnoxious. Clerk was quite nice and wanted to take her time taking out folders but I didn't feel comfortable holding up a very busy line. The envelopes given for stamp collecting and buying stamps specifies not to leave in envelope for long time. When I asked for stamp collector envelope I got a blank stare. After having been in Australia long enough I figured this meant, no. The only stamp collector sheet availabe was being sold for more than the total stamp collection. This sheet will cost you a few pennies here.

 

There are two more sets from Indigenous series for Airmail to Asia-Pacific which they did not have in stock at that time. I would have loved to have them but nothing I can do about it since they were out of stock. The only person I knew from Australia who knew about these stamps  abruptly cut me off. Strangely enough I had sent an expensive load of art supplies parcel to for aboriginal children a month prior. When post office notification was sent this person immediately added me to  spam list. Safe to say I won't be getting any polite consideration from that person.

Is it Australian culture not to say thank you by a phone call or sending a personalised note even via email? Three Australians have done this. Maybe it's just the coincidence of these three people? The English person whose loyalty is to those Australians, slipped a while back and said "very typical Australian to say thank you briefly via Twitter". She on other had did send a lovely note when I sent a first package. She's since cut me off because is friends with the other Australian. The problems started way before out of another situation. It was personal correspondence that I ended up getting ping ponged in the middle of. Figures out of the few contacts, I did have, I'd get grand Daddy of these two playing leading roles in social media soap opera.  They would then turn on me when I discovered their double lives internet facilitated lives.

Even if you don't like someone at least you can say thank you and acknowledge a parcel or send it back. Much cheaper to keep it and say thank you and then add me to spam. Oh well, l what can I do?Not everyone is going to reply as I would or would appreciate.

MOVING ON....... here is a lovely Indigenous Australian art exhibit spending three months in my hometown of New York City.


"Icons in the Desert" exhibit featuring Early Aboriginal paintings from Papunya:

Grey Art Gallery
New York University
New York, N.Y.
September 1
December 5, 2009

Next time I'm in Manhattan I'll enjoy going to see this art exhibit. New York City  has so many wonderful exhibits to view simultaneously. If you are ever in the Big Apple make sure to stumble in all over the five boroughs and visit super exhibits of all types and kinds.

I'll get to this exhibit soon enough. Will be a treat to see Australian Indigenous Art reach over to my hometown.



See and download the full gallery on posterous

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/317879/ny_237.JPG http://posterous.com/people/KB3C04ZoMV Francesca invinoveritas Francesca